Extra Marital Affairs ??
- Extra Marital Affairs ??
- I'd just like to hear from any other women out there who, like me, enjoy the thrill and ego-boost from an extra-marital affair.
Unlike several of my friends who have had the occasional fling behind their husbands backs my own husband knows about and encourages my affair.
I have been regularly meeting a close friend of both of ours for around six years. Our affair developed over quite a long period of time as we have known my lover and his wife for many years . It was my husband who first mentioned how obvious it was that Scot fancied me . . . but it took almost a year of mutual flirting before what my husband described as "the inevitable internal combustion" actually happened.
And when it did finally happen it was just wonderful. Not just the actual sex itself, but the way it affected my relationship with my husband. After 15 years of marriage it was like we were suddenly on honeymoon all over again. My husband loved hearing all the details (right down to what we talked about, who made what move first, what our parting words and kisses were). It rejuvenated our own marriage . . . not just sexually but in every way imaginable. Suddenly we were a lot more open in everything, our desires, our ideas, our own needs . . . it was just wonderful.
Of course I originally had feelings of guilt, not towards my husband because he knew everything, but towards Scots wife who we had also known for many years. It was made a little easier by the fact that she had often made it clear they were only staying together for their kids, slept in separate rooms etc. and were like friends rather than a "married couple". It still took me quite a while however, to overcome these feelings of guilt and I always felt nervous in her presence after I had "seen" Scot. But my husbands support, and the immense feelings of passion and thrill every time I arranged to meet with Scot always managed to overpower these twinges of guilt. And it just became easier as the years have passed by.
Just recently I have begun a second affair with an ex-work colleague. Again my husband knows all about it . . . and benefits from hearing all the details . . . though he doesn't actually know my new lover socially. (And no, Scot doesn't know anything about it at all!)
I just want to know if any other ladies out there may stumble across this message and be able to share a similar story.
Let me know . . .
posted by Edith @ 21:29
9 Comments:
Thank you for commenting on my blog, Catriona the Unfaithful.
It is great to hear from someone who is in a similar situation but so very different! I am fascinated by the fact your husband knows about your other lovers yet it excites, not enrages, him. I see your relationship as a kind of nirvana!
I do hope you keep posting as I think it would be a fascinating read! I look forward to seeing more from you!
Catriona x
Catriona
Thank you for your comment.
I'm not sure about "nirvana" . . . but we do have a wonderful relationship and it just gets better, as opposed to lots of our friends whom see to drift further apart.
Perhaps your own partner might not be quite so enraged about your desires as you think. Though we've always had a really open relationship, we talked about me "being with" other men for years and years before it actually happened. J actually kept telling me it was always one of his fantasies to see me with another man.
So . . . you never know, perhaps your partner may have similar thoughts about you and just needs you to spark those thoughts into admission/acceptance.
Jealousy is a funny thing though, not a simple emotion is it. I always say to J that though I should accept him meeting another lady, I'm not sure how I'd feel if it ever happened.
I will try and keep up posts, but it's often difficult to find the time between work, family and my "occasional socialising". I have kept a quite revealing diary though, J says it is the most explosive read !!
I am seeing my new lover this Thursday evening . . . perhaps I may update after the weekend.
Regards - Edi
I love your blog! You are so lucky to have an understanding husband who lets you have your fun in the security of your relationhip. I've been with my patner 10 years on &off, for the past 3 months i've been meeting with a 21 yr old guy, started as friends (via the net!) although recently becoming move sexual, he forfills a side that is missing in my relationship-is this wrong? Am i selfish? who knows...i dont think men/women are made to stay only with one mate for their life, why cant couples have an open relationship & have the best of both words?
Anonymous . . . thank you for your message. I don't think you are wrong to explore different things with your younger man. Just be careful that you know enough about him.
Yes I am lucky, but then my husband J is lucky as well because we have both benefitted from my extra-marital affair(s). We always have wonderfully passionate sex the next evening after I've met one of my lovers (sometimes immediately after I get home). But it isn't just the sex with J that has improved. I really do feel it has made me love him more, and him love me more. It's a lovely feeling to feel that sense of freedom in our marriage, being able to tell and ask each other anything, and not have to worry about silly feelings of jealousy. I realise that not everyone could do that . . . but you know, after 20 years of marriage, I feel we are more in love than ever. We hold hands, we kiss and cuddle more than we did 5 years ago. We just have a much more open and loving time.
Good luck with your new young man.
Please let me know how this relationship develops . . . and if you feel it helps you in your main relationship. (I think it probably will).
Best wishes - Edith
Wow, I didn't think that such a relationship could exist. Kudos to you and your spouse for loving each other that much. I am having a relationship with a man who is married, as I am. Yet, I could never tell my spouse. My lover has extreme guilt over our relationship. I do not have guilt. It is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Each time we meet, it takes him at least a month to get over the guilt until we can meet again. Also, we have enjoyed many acts together, but not intercourse. This is not my choice, but his. Any thoughts on why this could be?
Thank you for your Comment. I would love to hear more about your own affair. How did you find my site?
I’m not sure why your man may not want full sex. But different people do like different things don’t they. Perhaps he just enjoys doing the “other” things with you more.
On the other hand, as you say he feels guilty about seeing you, perhaps these feelings of guilt don’t allow him to actually “go all the way”. Perhaps by not indulging in full penetration with you he may feel that he is not really, really completely cheating on his wife. But you know, if I was you, I would just ask him. I’ve found that one of the most liberating feelings I’ve experienced from my relationships is that I can now feel confident enough just to tell my men what I want. And they each seem to really enjoy me taking the lead . . . Perhaps that is just what your man needs.
Do keep my posted on what happens.
Best wishes - Edith
Thanks for your comment! I appreciate your insight. I was beginning to feel that maybe I wasn't "good enough" for him to go the full distance with full intercourse. Perhaps his guilty feelings are stopping him.
Actually, I am very interested in hearing more about your new affair with your ex-work colleague. This is the type of affair in which I am involved, except that I do see my lover every day on a working basis. This is sometimes extremely difficult, as I wish we could "be" together more often. Communication is lacking, as you noted, however. We need more time to actually talk and discuss our feelings. Let us know more about your new man!
Hi Edith,Still loving your blog! An update of my situation...After four months of getting to know eachother, i met up with my younger guy yesterday at a local Hotel and spent the afternoon in bed ...boy was it worth it-never met a guy who was so eager to please and with so much stamina..amazing! Thing is my relatinship with my partner has improved mainly because i am happier all round, making for a 'nicer' life for all off us. Only worrying thing is how the 'affair' my develope, as by being friends first it is more than sex, there is a connection, but he understands my situation, knowing that i'd never leave my partner (as we have a child together)Still dont know if it is wrong what i'm doing?
hi edith
i just found your blog and i must say, your writing is refreshing!
you've asked for similar experiences, well not quite the same, i know, but my partner and i live in a very fulfilling relationship where we are both free, to have sex with other people. the only difference to you is, that we do it together...
as we actually met in a club close to where we live (which by the way is switzerland) where "open love" is practisted, (well for the life of me, i have no idea, how its called in english but i hope you know what i mean...) we started off, knowing, that we both love sex and that we're both okay with sharing sex with other people.
we still regularely go to that said club and have had many wonderful experiences!
well, i just wanted to share and also, i wanted to tell you, you really have no need to feel guilty, like other people have said, especially, as your husband knows of your affairs and shares them with you (at least in your storys).
i hope you continue your fulfilling life!!
best wishes,
lyra
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